i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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