you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My breasts were aching with rage.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
