Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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