Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
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