I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
