i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
