Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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