I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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