the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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