Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
