I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
