where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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