You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
