porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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