i think my mom watched the whole time
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
