My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
