yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
