therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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