I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
