I think my fart just growled at me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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