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i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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