i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
