You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
