I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
