two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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