the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I love you.
Bad choice
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
