i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
