Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
