i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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