piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
