If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize