Your dad touched me again.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
