dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
