ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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