I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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