Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
