What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
