thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
