I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
