Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
