idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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