just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
