he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I love you. Go after that dick
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
