Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
