You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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