you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize