who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Someone signed my nipple.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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