fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
