She said her name was "party"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
