"it" just moved
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
