In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
