You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
