So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
