They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
