I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
