It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
