Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
