so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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