He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
