he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize