we have pet lesbian snakes
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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