I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
